


Tomorrow never came

by silversmile



Series: After the Endgame - Where do we go now that they're gone [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-02 16:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18815023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversmile/pseuds/silversmile
Summary: After the dust has settled, and the remaining Avengers have found their way home to give their last regards to the man who, in the end, proofed his worth as a hero above all others, one person is left alone.After losing everything, all over again, having barely started to stomach the loss of her home, her parents, her brother, her freedom and in the end, her life, Wanda now has to come to terms with the fact that she lost even more.This time, it might prove to be too much in the end.





	1. They both do

**Author's Note:**

> Still trying to cope with Endgame, because I am definitely not over it.  
> I don't quite know where I will go with this in the end, but the whole story will definitely focus on Wanda, because she is awesome and definitely doesn't get enough screentime.  
> Clint, Steve, and Pepper will all be making an appearance, and who knows, maybe some other people will too.

  
  
  
  


„They both do.“  
Wanda was watching him with a small, wistful smile on her lips. Clint looked taken aback for a second before he understood who she meant.

„Wanda, about Vision, I’m so sorry. I don’t think anybody has said it yet. I wish we could have saved him.” He was watching her with such earnest sorrow on his face, that she felt herself crack a little bit more.

“Me too. I thought, after Pietro, I was getting used to losing everything. My parents, my home, my brother….I didn’t think there was anything left. But I just keep on losing. First Vision, then my life, five years with my Team, and my friends…..and now Nat.” A small sob escaped her, and Clint realized that she put losing Natasha after her life as if it somehow meant more to lose her than to be dusted by Thanos’s snap. 

“But I thought, you and Vision…?” She turned her gaze on him, as if she just now realized her mistake, realized that she had given herself away with that last sentence. Smiling she answered: “He was so very naïve. I loved that about him. The all-knowing Android, that could summon up infinite amounts of data on just one subject, knew nothing about friendship, loss, or love. But he did learn. And so did I. Because I think, after everything, I mean after Sokovia, and Ultron, and Pietro….I think I had to relearn all of that, too. Please don’t get the wrong impression, Clint, I did love him. So much. I just think…..” She let out a sigh and turned her gaze back to the water, back to the lake where they had just given their last goodbye to Tony. “It doesn’t matter now anyway.”

“It does matter to me. If you need somebody to talk to, I mean, I am always willing to listen. And I think, right now, you need a friend.” He looked at her with an expression that told her everything she needed to know.

“When we were in Wakanda, and the battle started, I knew that we couldn’t win. I knew that they wanted me with Vis to protect him, but they also thought that if everything went to hell, I would be the one who could destroy the stone. But I just couldn’t let her die. I had all these Powers, I had to do something. But it was all for naught anyway. And then, when Thanos appeared, I could feel him. I could feel the presence of all the stones like they were calling out to me, like I was a part of them. Vision could too, because of the Mind Stone. And then, I did it. I did it, Clint, he begged me to, and I destroyed the stone.” 

Clint drew in a sharp breath and looked at her with a puzzled expression. Nobody knew the details of what had happened, as Wanda, who’d been the only one there, had disappeared into dust seconds later. 

“It wasn’t enough. I killed the last person who had loved me, and after everything that had already happened, it just wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. But by that time, I should have known that.” 

She spoke with such dejection and heartbreak in her voice that Clint felt like crying. Crying for the girl she had been, crying for the woman she was, crying for all the loss she had survived, always loosing more. While he had to at least try to comfort her, he also had a feeling that there was still something she hadn’t talked about.

“Wanda, that’s not right, you ARE enough.” He looked at her, face hard and determined. When Wanda tried to look away again, he grabbed her arm, turning her around and looking at her with a blank face. “There’s more. Tell me.”

“I loved her first. Before Vision, before the war, and the Snap and everything else. She was there when Pietro was gone. She was there when we were on the run, after the accords. She was there when I had nightmares and went for a drink at 3 am. She was always listening when I needed to talk, always silent when I didn’t. How could I have not fallen for her? But in the end, I wasn’t enough for her either. I told her, but she….” Wanda stopped for a second, drawing in a ragged breath. 

She was starting to cry, Clint saw the silent tears in her eyes, but she was also looking at the water again, so he didn’t say anything. “She disappeared afterwards, for a few months, nobody knows where she went. When she came back, she was different. She didn’t listen anymore, she wasn’t warm, she just….wasn’t there. I still loved her, but I kept my distance. Then there was Vision, like a puppy at first, feeling endlessly bad for what happened at the airport. And we were already friends at that point, so we talked sometimes. One day I just…..broke, I think. I couldn’t keep it in anymore, couldn’t stand the silence, the hard look she had, when she was watching me, which wasn’t often since she avoided me at all cost. I talked to Vis, and then we talked more, and at some point, we talked every day, and then he started to visit, and I, I just…..Clint, I just needed somebody who WANTED me, who didn’t look at me with….disgust. I fell in love with his love for me I think.” 

She was openly crying at that point, and while he was still listening, he was also remembering. Remembering the time, when more than 6 months after the battle at the airport, Nat had stood at his door, looking so lost, so confused, like someone had pulled the rug out from under her, and left her lying on the cold hard floor. He started to count one and one together. How she’d been when she’d stayed with them, silent, always lost in her head, not the Natasha they had come to know. They had talked a few times while she was with them, and one thing became incredibly obvious in that time: if they ever thought Nat had forgiven herself for all her past sins, they were gravely mistaken. He hadn’t heard her talk like that in a long time, with so much hatred in her voice, so much anger and hurt. Now he understood, finally, everything made sense to him. And then, at Vormir, standing in front of the abyss, she had said she didn’t judge people on their worst mistakes. Liar. 

“Wanda, she was with us. Those few months when she was gone. And I…I don’t think she ran because she didn’t love you. Wanda, she ran because she did.” She was looking at him, like she couldn’t comprehend the words, so he pressed on. It wouldn’t, couldn’t change anything now, but Wanda, after the shitty life she had, deserved to know. “She ran because she didn’t think she deserved you. She was only seeing all the bad things she had done, all the people she had killed, and she didn’t think she was worthy of your love. She never thought she was worthy of anyone’s love. It took her years to convince her that she was worthy of my friendship, and then it took years for her to accept her role in the Team.”  
But Wanda was shaking her head, not ready to believe, after getting her heart broken again and again and again.  
Just as Clint decided to give Wanda a moment to gather herself, Steve came up to them, and if he realized that he had interrupted something crucial, he didn’t show it.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting, but I didn’t know when, or if I would see you two again, and there is something I have to give you.” He opened his bag and took out two envelops. There were names on the front, written in beautiful, cursive handwriting. Clint would recognize it anywhere.  
“I looking through the parts of the old compound that were still….well, there, and one of those parts was her bedroom. I didn’t snoop, but I thought I would give you her things Clint, you were her best friend after all. I found that on her nightstand. On for each of you, one for Tony and one for me. I wanted to give them to you.”

He held them out, and while Clint took his without hesitation, Wanda was looking back at the lake, completely frozen. Clint took her envelope too, and with a soft thank you sent him on his way. But Steve turned back to Wanda, looking like he wanted to say something. Clint took his arm, dragging him away, not too far, but far enough for Steve to whisper: “Is she OK? I mean…” “I know what you mean, and the answer is no. I won’t tell you, because it’s private” Steve, nodded, and after a short look at Wanda, turned around and made his way back to the others.

Clint turned back to Wanda, who was still standing by the lake, not moving an inch. He gently tugged at her arm, until she was looking at him again.  
“Do you want to read it now? Because I think you need to.”  
After a few seconds, Wanda started to nod nearly imperceptibly. She held her hand out, patiently waiting for Clint to hand over her envelope. 

Then, after taking a shaky breath, face still wet from her tears, she opened it and started to read.


	2. Forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank everybody who left Kudos on the last chapter so I am posting the next one today.  
> What will the mysterious letter say?

Dear Wanda

First of all, I have never actually written a letter before, so forgive me if I fail miserably. 

If you read this, it means that I didn’t come back from our “time heist”. I cannot imagine what would take me out after all the things I survived, but I hope it was worth it. It probably was, because you reading this also means we won, and you got another chance. Wanda, you could never imagine how much that means to me.

Maybe you don’t want to read this. Maybe you don’t want this letter at all. But I need to write it. Because I owe you an explanation, and after what happened, after how I treated you, I owe you an apology too. Those last few years were…Oh Wanda, there are no words to explain what it was like. The world was so empty without you in it, most days I didn’t even know what getting up in the morning would accomplish. But staying asleep wasn’t much better since the nightmares of seeing you turn to dust were constant companions.

I don’t know when I realized that I was falling for you. Maybe it was during one of our midnight talks. Or one of the times you were telling me about Pietro, your parents, and your childhood in Sokovia. Do you remember when we were hiding in Prague, only weeks after we got you out of the raft? It was late, already dark outside, but the air was still warm. You were sitting on the balcony with your strange mint tea that nobody actually drinks. When I came and sat with you for a while, you told me the story about how Pietro and you talked about making it to Prague, maybe for a vacation, or even to live there. You were smiling then. You have the most beautiful smile, Wanda. You cannot possibly imagine how much I missed your smile in these last few years. And your hair, and your Eyes. And your sense of humor, and your snark (which you do have, by the way, tell Clint I said that). I missed everything about you, and I am so sorry that I will never get to tell you that in person. I should have. Over six years ago, when you came to me, so incredibly brave.  
But I pushed you away. You wanted to give me the greatest gift anybody could ever imagine, and I pushed you away. 

Because I was afraid. Wanda in all my life I have never been so afraid of anything. Unrequited love I could handle, because I thought that was what I deserved. After all I’d done, the thought that you would love me, even though you had seen into my head, seen all my past, was something I simply couldn’t comprehend. So, I ran. I ran away, and when I came back I went out of my way to ignore you, to never be alone in a room with you, to never train with you, to never spend a second too long looking at you. 

I am so sorry Wanda. I am so sorry about how I treated you. I am so sorry that we couldn’t find a way to save Vision, to bring him back without the stone. Maybe you will, with time (Shuri takes every chance to one-up Tony, after all, so god knows what they could accomplish together). I hope you will. Because you deserve to be with somebody who treats you like the wonder you are. And he did. Maybe, in the end, he was more human than me.  
I am sorry for not loving you the way you deserved. I might not have kept your heart after you wanted to gift me with it, but in the end, you always had mine.

There will never be enough space on this piece of paper to apologize for all the things that I did wrong, for all the times I hurt you. As there will never be enough space to tell you how I felt about you. But know that if there was even one moment to have a last thought before the world became dark, I probably spent it on you. 

Goodbye my little witch. 

Love, Natasha


	3. The burden of loving a fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, this time with one of my favorites - the great Pepper Pots, being her normal helpful, sweet and patient self.  
> I also wanted to thank Dragon17 for not only enjoying the stories I write, but also for trying to make them somewhat readable, without an endless amount of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors (you will probably still find plenty of them, but well, english is not my first language^^).

By the time she had read through the whole letter, Wanda had sunken down on her knees, the crumpled, wet piece of paper clutched firmly in her shaking hands. Clint had stepped away to give her a little privacy but was now watching from a distance, concerned written all over his face. He had yet to read his own letter (he was stalling, he knew), but he could admit that he was not nearly as brave as Wanda... Sweet, brave Wanda, who always seemed to draw the short straw in life. He was just making the decision to go to her, and at least get her somewhere more private, when he saw somebody else approach.

“Hi.” Wanda was pulled out of her gloom by a blond woman who had sat down next to her kneeling body in the damp grass. ‘Tony Starks wife’ her scrambled brain supplied helpfully.

“Hi,” Wanda answered with a hoarse voice. She just stared at her for a few Moments. Then the woman started again, with a small smile on her lips: “I’m Pepper”. Wanda continued staring at her when she realized that she should probably reply. 

“Wanda”. 

“Oh, I know”. The woman was now grinning a little bit wider, not by a big margin, but still noticeable.

“I’m sorry, I mean….I’m sorry for your loss”. The smile disappeared, and if Wanda were in better shape she would scold herself for the absence of tact. Natasha would laugh though and tell her that tact was just a nicer form of lying. She could feel the tears coming again. 

“As am I, for yours.” The woman replied before Wanda could lose herself in her memories of long-lost moments. She was looking at Pepper for a moment and realized she was probably talking about Vision. It HAD been only days for her, even if the world had continued moving in her absence. But the sting of losing Vision was overpowered by the knowledge of losing a future with Natasha she had never known was even a possibility.

“It has been some time since we met, what with her trying to save what was left of the world, and me trying to enjoy my family while it lasted, but she always was a remarkable woman, even if she herself could not see it most of the time.”

Wanda was staring again, not comprehending how this woman, with whom she had no previous conversation with, could possibly know that she was crying for the woman who had not even made it to the fight where her husband died. Maybe Steve had told her about the letters. But why would he?

“Did she ever tell you about the time when she had practically infiltrated Stark Industries on S.H.I.E.L.Ds orders, to assess Tony for the Avenger initiative?”. Wanda could only silently shake her head, still lost in confusion.  
“It was actually hilarious, he was just signing over his company to me and needed a new assistant, and she came from legal, with the papers. He was hooked the second he saw her, because let’s face it, who wasn’t. He was asking me who she was, and you know what the first thing was that had come to my mind? I told him she was potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if he kept ogling her like that. But he insisted. Of course, she turned out to be an Agent, but at least there was no lawsuit. She also deemed him not fit for the Team.” 

“I hated him, at first. I blamed him for everything that went wrong in my life, but really, I was just looking for a reason to stay angry. By the time I had realized that there was the thing with the Accords, and then the fight at the airport, and the raft, and then we were on the run, and then there was the battle, and suddenly I was dust. And when I came back there was no time to talk, and I…..I never even told him that I knew that it wasn’t his fault…I am sorry for that too”. 

“He probably knew. He also wouldn’t fault you for your anger. It was one of the emotions he knew best. When everything was over, after the decimation, he was so angry at first. Infinitely grateful that I was still alive, but also infinitely angry, at himself, and Steve, and the whole world. Mostly at himself.”

“Maybe being angry at yourself for your past mistakes, holding yourself responsible, is the hallmark of a good hero.”

“I think it’s the hallmark of a fool. He was one, in that aspect. I think she was one too.”

“She was.” 

“But you know, he was my fool. And I loved everything about him. Even his foolishness.”

Loving a fool, now with that Wanda could emphasize. She looked up for the first time, directly in the eyes of the one other person who had lost everything in this last fight, where everybody else had gained. Maybe she wasn’t the only one drawing the short straw.

“How do we go on?” 

She wasn’t quite sure whether she was actually asking Pepper or just talking to herself, but the other woman gave her an answer all the same. “Well, I will go back to my daughter, keeping her close by my side, holding on to what we have left as a family. And as for you, well, Steve told me that somebody must bring back the stones to their timeline. All the stones.” Wanda understood what Pepper wanted to say without any further explanation. Bring back all the stones. Two of which were soaked in the blood of Wanda’s future.  
The Mind Stone, which had given her Vis, for a short amount of time, before ripping him out of her life again, and the Soul Stone, the one infinity stone which had cost Natasha’s life, quite literally.  
She would do it. It was only fair. Not only was she the one Avenger who had nothing left to lose, if things went south somehow, but she was also the one, except for Pepper, who had paid the highest price for this win. She wanted to bring the stones back. 

She wanted to say goodbye.


	4. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand another one.

“Well, Laura and I will probably…” Clint was talking to Steve when he saw something red coming up in the corner of his left eye. He stopped midsentence, turning slightly to look at Wanda. The red was her trademark jacket. The one she had “stolen” from Natasha. Or rather, her brother had stolen for her from Natasha. After the fight against Ultron, once they’d reached the Avenger’s facility, Wanda, still complete distraught over her brothers’ death, wanted to give it back. Nat had only looked at her and mumbled a “Keep it”. She had. It had become her armor, in every sense of the word.

“You ok?” It was a stupid question, the tearstains on her cheeks answer enough, but he was still surprised when she answered: “No, but thank you. And thank you too, Steve, for the letter, and the prompt delivery. She probably knew somebody would go around snooping.” “I wasn’t…” “Spare me, Captain.” Clint threw a dirty look at Steve for a second, before turning back to Wanda.

“So, what will you do now?” 

“Wait for a little while. I have to talk to you about something later though, Steve. About the stones.” She looked at him with determined eyes, and he was already dreading this conversation. 

“That’s ok. You should probably know that we are planning to eat together Tonight. As some kind of….”

“Wake.” Clint supplied. 

“Aren’t we doing that right now, after the funeral?” Wanda looked confused for a moment.

“Not for Tony. For Nat. Just the family. At the old Stark building, where we first came together as a real Team, against Loki.” Clint looked helpless as new tears were gathering in Wanda’s eyes. 

“Family?” 

“Yes, that’s what she said, she told me that she used to have nothing and then she got this job, this family. And she told me she was better because of it. Because of us. We can’t give her a proper funeral, so the least we can give her is an evening with her family.” Steve had tears glistening in his eyes, and Wanda was reminded again of how much Natasha had meant to all these people, even if she didn’t see it.

“I will be there. We can talk before if that is alright with you Steve?” He only nodded, then turned around to make his way back to all the people still standing together, remembering.

“After the wake, what will you do Wanda?” Clint was still there, she had nearly forgotten him, feeling only his silent, comforting presence. 

“That depends on the talk I will have with Steve.” Clint was looking at her with questioning eyes. “I want to return the stones. Somebody has to do it, and not only have I nothing left to lose, if something goes wrong, but I also lost not one but two people because of them. Well, three if you count Pietro.”   
For a second, she thought Clint would try to dissuade her, but then he only nodded. 

“If you need somewhere to stay, there is always an empty bed in my home for you Wanda.” He looked like he was starting to cry, so she took him in her arms, careful not to think about WHY there was an unused bed in there home. He didn’t say an empty couch. Or a spare room. He had deliberately said empty bed, because it was empty now. 

\--------------------------------------

“That was not a question Steve. I am going to do this.”

Wanda was currently involved in a rather intense staring contest, and while it didn’t necessarily look like anybody was loosing, Wanda knew that she would not be stopped. Yes, everybody looked to him for guidance. So yes, naturally everybody assumed that he would bring back the stones. But he wouldn’t. She would make sure of that. He could accompany her if he really wanted to, but she would prefer to go alone.

“Do I need to list all the reasons why this is a bad idea?”

“Do I need to list all the reasons why this is the only option?”

Clearly, they were both prepared to be stubborn. Standing in front of the first Stark Tower was probably not the best place for this argument, but Wanda wanted to get it over with before they entered. Once she was inside, every single one of her thoughts should belong to Natasha. Not the stone that killed her.

They would have continued to stare at each other if it wasn’t for a cough coming from the door.

“Are you coming inside?” Pepper had just arrived, and while she could go in alone, she probably didn’t want to leave Steve and Wanda to their argument. 

“We will be inside in second, there is just one last thing to…”

“Steve, leave it. You will lose this fight, enjoy the big one you already won, and let her do this.” Pepper, coming to her rescue, again. She really was one of a kind. Steve looked like he wanted to argue for a second, but one stern look and he just sighed very loudly and said: “We will need about two weeks to synthesize new particles and get everything ready. We will talk about the details later.” He wanted to turn around and go inside but was stopped after a few steps. Turning around, Wanda had her hand on his arm.

“Steve. Thank you.” He nodded, then left. Wanda was standing in front of the doors, unsure for a moment, before she felt a light touch on her shoulder. Turning her head to the right she saw Pepper, who was motioning for her to come inside. Wanda took a deep breath and entered the building.


	5. Goodbyes

Wanda was standing next to the small platform they had built after the bigger one was destroyed in the attack on the compound a few weeks ago. Steve was explaining how things would work for the millionth time and she was really starting to lose patience. They needed to get on with this, or she would lose her nerve. 

“And after New York you need to…”

“Thank you, Steve, but I got it. I really do. You have explained the plan to me about two- or three hundred times, I will be fine. See you in a minute.” She was giving him a small smile, and while at first, he looked like he just wanted to continue, Clint, who was standing next to him was gently nudging him: “Cap, she will be fine. Wanda can look after herself and she is most certainly able to punch a few numbers in a wristband, throw around a few stones and be back for supper. Aren’t you, Wanda?” He was grinning at her, and she tried to smile back, though it came out a little bit stiff. Smiling was still hard, and she supposed it would be for quite some time. 

Most things were harder now than they were before the snap. Smiling, breathing, living. All the things that neither Natasha nor Vision would ever get to do again. But Wanda was trying and spending the last few days with Clint´s family at his farm had certainly helped. She had been right, he was an amazing fatherland he also was an amazing friend. They had each other to lean on, to cry on when suddenly, something or someone reminded them of what they had lost, of what was taken from them. 

For Wanda, it was mint tea, mentions of Prague, the red of her hair, the green of her eyes. Somebody speaking to her in that gentle voice Vis had always used or somebody calling her witch. Over the last few days and weeks, Wanda grew accustomed to randomly breaking out in tears, excusing herself to go cry in solitude for a little while, before making herself presentable again and continuing with her day. 

For Clint, she had realized, it was somebody mentioning Budapest. Also, somebody using phrases like “it’s ok”. The first time it had been Steven, the evening they spent at the Stark Tower. For a moment it looked like Clint had simply shattered, broken into a million tiny Clint shaped pieces, then he had gotten up and left. Wanda had looked for him for nearly 20 minutes before he came back, red-rimmed eyes and with a scratchy voice. 

The second time had been Laura, and while he didn’t break into tears this time, he still left the farm. Wanda went to look for him again, and when she had found him, sitting in the cold grass, his back against a big tree, she just couldn’t refrain from asking: “What is it with you and that two-letter word?” He had looked at her for a moment, as if not really understanding what she could possibly mean, but after a split-second understanding had dawned on his face a single tear escaping his eye. 

“When we were standing there, on top of that cursed mountain, waiting for some kind of miracle to happen, for somebody to come and tell us that yes, this whole sacrifice thing had just been a stupid joke, here you go, take the stone….I was ready to die for all the things I had done in the five years after the snap. But she simply had to be the stubborn one. Telling me that she wasn’t in the habit of judging people on their worst mistakes. Funny how she was always judging herself. Then we fought.” 

Wanda had looked surprised for a moment, and Clint continued with a mirthless chuckle: “Yes, we fought about being the one to die. Just one last fight, just between us. And believe me, I was not pulling my punches.” Wanda had been reminded of the scene at the airport, where she had interrupted the “fight” (which looked more like a sparring match anyway) between Natasha and Clint, only to accuse him of pulling his punches. “And then, when I was jumping from the edge, ready to give it all up, she just had to one-up me one last time. Threw herself right after me, and then, when we were dangling from the cliff…..She told me … You know”. Wanda did know. Telling Clint that it was alright, that he had to go home to his family, while she had to die on a lonely, cold alien planet for a stupid stone, was exactly something Natasha would have said. 

For a split-second, Wanda thought that maybe it should have been Clint. Only a moment later, realizing what she had been thinking, Wanda was disgusted with herself. No, letting Clint jump from that cliff, give up his family and his happiness was not something Natasha would have done. Not ever. She was far too good for that. Even though she couldn’t see that, always hating herself for her past.

A fool like Pepper had said.

But Wanda’s fool none the less.

Steve’s hand on her shoulder ripped her out of her memories. “We are ready if you are?”

Wanda gave a curt nod: “I am probably as ready as I’m ever going to be.”

“You know, you can still change your mind. I know all the dates, you don’t have to do this.”

“No Steve, I really do.” He nodded, clearly finally understanding what Wanda had wanted to say. She did have to do this, even if it was only for a way to say goodbye, to find closure. As if that was ever going to happen. “Wanda, I will see you here in few seconds. Take as long as you need, but please try not to get lost somewhere.” She gave him one last exasperated look: “I will certainly try not to swim around in a puddle of time somewhere.”  
Steve let out a short laugh, and even Clint had to grin for a moment.   
He stepped up to give Wanda a hug, before whispering in her ear: “Say goodbye for me too. And Wanda, if you can, you know….bring her home if she is still there.” Wanda understood what he meant without explanation and only gave a short nod as an answer. Clint’s plea was very clear.

Bring back Natasha’s body, if it was still there.


	6. The Ancient One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, because life is keeping me rather busy right now. I wanted to thank all the people who have left Kudos or a comment. I really appreciate both :)

Opening her eyes again, she had a short moment of dizziness. Time travel, whose idea was that again? Looking around herself, it looked like she was right where she was supposed to be, in New York, in the middle of the fight against Loki and the Chitaurion top of a rooftop. After Steves explanations of all the times and places she would find herself in (she??), this felt nearly familiar. After bringing back the Reality, the Power and the Space Stone to their respective times and places, she was halfway done already, and she felt more and more anxious and tired the closer she came to returning the Mind and Soul Stone. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

“Hello.” Wanda turned around startled. There was a woman, dressed in yellow, looking at her expectantly. The ancient one. Here she would part with the time stone. 

“Hello. You are expecting me.” The woman looked at her curiously, then realising what Wanda had said, she smiled and answered: “I thought it would be Dr Banner who would bring it back. Who are you then?”

“My name is Wanda Maximoff. And we decided that it should be me to return all the stones. Which is what I am going to do now.”

Opening the case where Steve had put all the stones, she used her magic to levitate the green, glowing time stone towards the woman in yellow. Once it was safe in the locket she had seen Steven Strange wear, the woman turned back to her once again. 

“They entrusted all of the infinity stones into the hands of one woman. Curious, so much power. Aren’t you tempted to use them?”

“I am able to protect them and return them all to their rightful place. These stones have done nothing but taken from me, maybe they have taken more from me than from anybody else. No, I am not tempted to use them, because not even all six infinity stones could give me back what I lost.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Is this a hypothetical question? Because yes, I am sure about that. I am not here to change the past. I am here to part from it.”

“Well, then don’t let me stop you.” She was smiling at Wanda again with this little knowing smile that felt like a taunt. Like Wanda was missing something essential.  
“Is there something else you want to tell me?” Wanda became curious after all, and in the end, she had nothing but time. It was not as if there was anything waiting for her in her own time.

“I don’t know. Is there something you want to ask?” Wanda turned around and looked over the edge of the building. There, somewhere down there, Natasha and Clint were fighting an Alien army. Clint had told her all about that. He had been so proud back then, years ago, when he told her the story about how a Spy and an Archer had fought alongside gods and super soldiers, able to hold their own. She should have known that Nat’s luck would run out one day. 

“No. I have already thought about all the catastrophic things I could do with these stones. None of them would change anything. You cannot change the past, not really. And I don’t want to create a new timeline where Vis or Nat are alive, only to leave this on in the dust of my selfish decisions. They would hate that, both of them would. I will learn to go on. I always have.”

The ancient one gave a small smile and a curt nod, opened one of the portals that Strange seemed to love so much and disappeared. Wanda was alone on the rooftop, sounds of fighting from the not so far distance still slightly drowning her thoughts. Yes, she would learn to go on, she always had. But there was no guarantee that she would learn to live again. To love again. 

But alas, it was not yet time for that. There were still two stones left. The Mind Stone next, and, as they had decided, together, back in New York, the Soul Stone last. With one last look over the edge of the building, down at the small figures fighting Loki's army, she entered in the coordinates and disappeared.


	7. A Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter :)

“Vis.” She was staring at him like she was seeing a ghost. Which she probably was, since he seemed to come out of the stone, and his body seemed a little see-through, like a hologram.

“Hello Wanda.” He answered with a soft smile. Like it was completely normal to reappear years after your death, in a time where you didn’t even exist yet. Wanda was still looking at him with wide eyes, not able to comprehend what she was seeing.

“How…but…you…I….Vis.” Clearly, they were getting nowhere.

“What you probably want to ask is, how am I here.” He seemed to be slightly amused, and it reminded her of how far he had come, how much he had grown, emotionally, in the short amount of time he had lived with the Avengers.

“Yes, that.”

“Well, you see, I am, and always was, part of the Mind Stone, as much as the Stone was always part of me. And even though I do not exist yet, at this point in time, the infinity stones do not obey normal rules of time and space, as you surely know by this point. So, this part of me is and has always been part of the stone, regardless of my current state of existence.” She was still looking at him, but now she had tears in her eyes.

“Vis. I am so sorry. I missed you. Well, I was dead, but since getting back, I missed you so much. And so much has happened, that I had no time to think of how to get you back.”

“Wanda, there is no way to get me back. The Vision you know died when Thanos stole the stone from him. And there is no reason for you to be sorry. Rather it is me who should apologize.”

“What would you ever apologize for Vis?” She was slightly startled that Vision seemed to think he did something wrong and even if this was just a very small part of the man she had loved once, she needed to ease his mind.

“I know that you loved her when I started courting you. I also knew that at that time, you didn’t love me, at least not as fierce and as true. Maybe if we wouldn’t have been together, if I had just accepted that I was made to be a robot and not a man, if I wouldn’t have been so selfish, by the time Thanos came, you would have been able to destroy the stone, and all of this would have never happened.” Now Wanda looked taken aback, how could Vision blame himself for something that was clearly her choice as much as his.

“Oh Vis, what do you think happened? Do you think you MADE ME fall in love with you? That happened because you are one of the best man I have ever known, you were more human than most humans that have ever crossed my path. You were funny in an endearing sort of way, you wanted to protect me, even though I clearly don’t need protection, you tried to cook for me even though you have absolutely no talent, you were there for me, trying desperately to win my heart at a time where I had thought that there was no heart left to win. And you still succeeded. I loved you, Vis, because you were who you were, and loving you was my decision, you didn’t make me do it. And just so you know, even if you would have been just a friend, I would have still refused to destroy the stone.”

“Thank you, Wanda, you have no idea how much comfort you are giving me, even if it is just this small part of me who will ever heart these words. I want you to know something and I want you to listen closely.” She looked at him, curiosity visible on her tear stained face. She nodded, signaling that she was listening attentively.

“I might be gone, but there is still happiness possible in your future. I didn’t tell you while I was alive, and I regret that deeply, but as you said, maybe I was more man than a machine in the end, and men tend to be selfish at times. So, I didn’t tell you when I was alive, but I do think Miss Romanoff does indeed reciprocate your feelings. I want you to know that the only thing I wish off you is your happiness, and after all that happened, she might see that she is a part of that. So Wanda, go after it and…” Vision’s projection was interrupted by Wanda breaking down, falling to her knees like all the power to stand had simply left her in that second. Vision had just given her his blessing to be with the only other person she had ever loved like that. And that other person was dead. She really did always draw the short straw.

“Wanda, what is it. I am sorry if I said something wrong, forgive me my…”

“Vision stop! You said nothing wrong. Quite the contrary, you are wonderfully kind and noble and, like always, you are also right. Natasha does love me. She told me herself. Or well, she told me on paper, but the sentiment is still the same. Only, it doesn’t matter anymore. Because like always, I’m just unlucky enough to lose everything after having one little taste of it.”

“What do you mean?” Vision seemed perplexed, like he really couldn’t guess what she was possibly talking about. Maybe he didn’t. Imagination had never been his strong suit after all.

“She is dead Vision. The Soul Stone demanded a sacrifice and noble, stupid hero that she was, she just had to go and make it. I never even met her, because she died to get us all back, so by the time I had turned from dust to me again, she was long gone. I am on this mission to bring the stones back, but really, I just wanted a chance to say goodbye to both of you.” 

“Wanda I am so sorry.”

“As am I. I wish I had known that I would lose both of you. I might have made different decisions. But that life I guess, there just is no happy ending for people like me.”

“People like you?”

“Oh Vis, don’t you think I know all the mistakes I made? With Ultron, and Stark and the Accords and just everything. Do you really think I am so naïve to think that I have a perfect record when it comes to being a good person? But it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter Wanda, but I feel that I am not the one who will change your mind about yourself. For what it’s worth, I wish I could. But now it’s time for you to do what you came for. But back the stone into the scepter and say your goodbye.”

“But Vis, how can I just leave you here, now that I know part of you is still in there.”

“Wanda, do not endanger everything you all fought for, just for me. I am not here. This is a small part of me, an echo who got stuck in the stone which first gave me life. For all intents and purposes, the Vision you love is gone. And while I also feel for you, I know it’s my time to rest. So let me rest Wanda. Please.” 

At first, it looked like Wanda wanted to object. To tell him that there had to be a way, that she couldn’t just leave him here, but then, with a broken sob she stood up from the floor, taking a shaky step in Vision’s direction, only to realize that since he was clearly connected to the stone, he would just drift away from her. She let out another sob, realizing that she wouldn’t be able to get any closer to him, to say her goodbyes while looking into his eyes. 

Eventually, she steadied herself and answering his plea with a broken voice: “Goodbye Vis. I wish we could have had more time.”

She put the stone back into the scepter and the projection disappeared. Feeling like her heart had shattered just a little bit more she put in the coordinates of Vormir. Her last stop. Her last goodbye.


	8. Return what was taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Vormir Chapter is here. Finally. It is not quite the end though.
> 
> I wanted to thank all the kind people who left a Comment :)

It was beautiful. That was the first thing coming to Wanda’s mind when she opened her eyes again. Glowing red and purple sky’s, a rocky scenery, endless lakes surrounded by what looked like dunes of white sand. 

The only bigger structure seemed to be a giant mountain in the distance. That seemed to be her destination. For a second Wanda thought about using her powers, but then decided against it. The sooner she reached the top, the sooner she would have to say goodbye, and she did not feel ready for that just yet. So, she started to make her way by foot, taking in the beautiful landscape. 

It was hard. Walking the same path Clint and Natasha had to have taken, Wanda felt like she could sense Natasha’s presence, walking beside her. She could even imagine her voice, making stupid comments on the walk, the view or anything else to kill time on the way up. 

A memory came back, from their fight against Ultron. When everything had seemed lost, only moments before Fury had appeared with S.H.I.E.L.D, she had listened to a conversation between Natasha and Steve. At the time, she was sure that neither of them had realized that she was there, lost in their own thoughts. When Steve had refused to abandon the people on top of the floating piece of Wanda’s home, Natasha had conceded that they would stay. Claiming that there were worse ways to go and Wanda seemed to remember, admiring the view. 

While walking, Wanda was looking for the guardian Clint had warned her about, the floating shape of a man with a red face. Maybe he wouldn’t come. After all, Wanda did not want to GET the Soul Stone, she wanted to give it back. But how would she even do that? They had talked about everything, planning even the smallest detail, but she just now realized that nobody had actually told her HOW to give the stone back. 

The others were easy. Put the Ether back into Jane Foster, Rocket had explained the piece of technology she had used for that, given the Time Stone back to the woman waiting for it and so on. But the Soul Stone wasn’t something that was just taken from a place, or a person or even a scepter.

Suddenly she wondered if there even existed a way to give it back. Had they fucked up the timeline after all, even when they were trying to be so careful. What would she do if there was no way? She realized it the moment she thought about it, and suddenly she felt like throwing up. Nobody knew what Thanos did on Vormir to get the stone. Everybody just knew that he went there with his daughter and left without her, with the stone. What if this was how it worked. You get the stone by sacrificing what you love. And when you bring it back, you wait for the next person…

No. There was no way it worked like that…

She had the sudden urge to hurry, to get this over with. The sky didn’t look beautiful anymore, but rather it now looked gloomy and depressing. Wanda wanted to leave. She wanted to give the fucking Stone back, get Natasha’s body and never come back to this place.

Without realizing it, she had reached the top. It wasn’t shaped like a natural mountain top, but rather like a platform, with intricate lines and circles, all leading to the very edge. Wanda felt sick just thinking about Nat and Clint arguing for the right to be the one falling down to their death. With slow, deliberate steps she went to the edge and looked down.

Nothing. 

Where was Natasha’s body? 

Suddenly she felt a presence behind her. Turning around, lighting her magic during the motion she took a fighting stance, like Nat had taught her, a million years ago. There, not even ten meters away from her, floating slightly above the ground was the black figure Clint had told her about. The guardian of the Soul Stone.

“Wanda, daughter of Yegor, welcome.” Not stopping the magic from flowing from her fingertips, but taking a more relaxed stance, Wanda asked: “Are you the guardian? Of the stone I mean?” 

“Yes, that I am. But what do you seek? They stone have already been taken. The exchange has been made.” Wanda took a step back from the edge, feeling like this was going to be a longer conversation.

“Yes, well, I am here to bring it back. Where should I put it?” The black figure seemed taken aback for a moment.

“Give it back? Nobody has ever come to give it back. It has been taken before, but it always reappeared by itself.” 

Wanda felt like crying. She had made the whole trip to this godforsaken place and yes, the view was nice, but Natasha’s body was missing and now the Guardian didn’t even want the stone back. But she had to try. It was a soul sacrifice, after all, not a body sacrifice. 

“Yes, well, I don’t have time to wait for it to vanish, because it needs to be here in a few years. Also, I want the body of the woman who died to get it. What do you want me to do with it?”

“The Soul Stone cannot be given back, once the exchange is made, the sacrifice is taken and the stone is given.”

“Yes, I know that, but it takes a soul, so there should be a body, and I am not leaving without it. Where is it?”

“The body was taken when the stone was given.” Wanda thought about just blasting the black figure down the edge with her magic, but she had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well.

“I want to give the stone back. Hence, you can either tell me how to do that or we can continue to argue about it for eternity. Your choice.”

“So we shall argue about it for….”, suddenly, the figure halted, midsentence, as if somebody had interrupted his speech. Wanda didn’t dare utter a word, in case he decided to continue arguing, rather than listen to whatever otherworldly voice was speaking to him. When he turned back to her, a small, ugly looking smile on his lips, Wanda feared the worst.

“Wanda, daughter of Yegor, you may return the stone and you make take the sacrifice back with you. However, I cannot send you to the place where the exchange takes place.”

“What is that supposed to mean? I can give it back and take Nat’s body, but I must find the way myself? Aren’t you supposed to be a guide.” Wanda was starting to lose her patience. She just wanted to go home, feeling like these past few hours (or days, or weeks?) of travel had taken the last bit of strength she did have, leaving her a tired shell of the person she once was.

“No, because it doesn’t work that way. There are only two ways to get there. To make the sacrifice for the Soul Stone, by losing that which you love, or…”, Wanda interrupted: “To be the one sacrificed.”

The figure gave a curt nod. Then this was how it went, in the end. There was no way Wanda would sacrifice somebody she loved, not that there were many people left for a sacrifice like that, just to get the Stone back, so Thanos could take it a few years later, to kill her and her friends as well as billions upon billions of others. But she could still make a sacrifice.

“It will take me to the place the Stone is supposed to be? Therefore if somebody wanted to take it again, by making a sacrifice, it would work?” She had to know that this wouldn’t fuck up the timeline. That even if she didn’t get back to Clint Steve and the others, the future could still happen the way it was supposed to.

“It will.” With that the figure floated away, disappearing behind a rock in the distance.

Wanda walked back to the edge, and with a heavy sigh, sat down, feet dangling in the air.

“Well Nat, I actually wanted to say goodbye, but it seems we will see each other again much sooner than I thought. I’m sorry, you are probably going to be so mad at me, for not having the life you wanted me to have. But in the end, I’m not sure it would have been much of a life. You know, when I returned the Mind Stone, I had ….well, a Vision, of Vision. Don’t laugh, that’s not funny. We talked a bit, and he told me he wanted me to be happy. With you. I shouldn’t even be surprised, that both people I love are dead and they still both want me to find happiness with the other one. Sometimes I think my whole life is some cruel joke. Maybe it’s a fitting end, that I die just to return a Stone Thanos will use to kill half the universe, including myself, the family of my best friend and in a way both of my lovers? You should appreciate the humor, but I know you won’t. 

I’m a little bit sorry, that I can’t say goodbye to Clint though. He will be devastated when I won’t return. He told me to take all the time I needed, but I don’t imagine that was what he had in mind. But, he has Laura and the kids. They are really great by the way, I’m a little angry that you and him didn’t introduce me to them sooner. But at the same time, I understand. By the way, they don’t. They are constantly asking for their Aunty Nat. Not that constantly asking for their father would have been much better, but you know. It’s a mess either way. 

I think I’m stalling. The last time I “died”, I didn’t really die. I was just gone and then a second later, yes I know it’s been five years, but it felt like a second, I was there again. In the middle of a battle, I didn’t even know we were fighting. And I was looking for you, my magic was looking for you, but I couldn’t find you Nat. Do you have any idea what that felt like? Realizing you weren’t there? Not knowing why? Holding on to that small sliver of hope, that you know, maybe you were hurt and didn’t come or anything like that? But then I saw Clint, and he looked at me, and then I knew. I just knew. I think I died back then, so we are just going to make it official now, ok? 

I could sit here forever, talking to the abyss, but that wouldn’t lead anywhere will it? So, I am going to do what I came here for. I am sorry that I cannot get you home, so you can have the funeral you deserve. But it seems things just aren’t going to work that way. Goodbye my love, see you in a minute.”

Stone clutched firmly in her hand, Wanda stood up and after wiping the tears from her eyes, took one last step into the abyss.

She felt the world go by lightning fast, before everything became dark.

 

She felt the cold and wet seconds before opening her eyes again. The stone in her hand was gone and a few meters away, she saw another body in the water.


End file.
